Nightmares

For two consecutive nights, I’ve had really really bad dreams.

First night, it was about my wedding preparations. In my dream, we were preparing at home. My gown was not yet ready and we were waiting for the dressmaker to deliver it. Then 3 ladies came, carrying my gown… No, it was not a ball gown. It looked like a sleepwear only with beads and lace. It was straight, no trail, no flair, no shape, no nothing. I was really disappointed, but still I asked them politely to please just put a satin ribbon around the waist area so that there would be a shape to the dress and it would give the skirt a little bit of a lift. In my understanding, what happened was that despite my instructions, the dressmaker did not listen to what I wanted and instead made the dress in what she thought was better. Well I am the bride and I should get the last say! So annoyed, I continued panicking in my dream because it seemed that I didn’t even have someone to do my hair and make up! I really really wanted to cry. When the dress first came, I was so worried because it was already 10:30AM and I still wasn’t looking like a bride that I was supposed to. Then the repair of the dress had to be done and when it returned, it was already 12:30PM and the wedding ceremony is at 1:30! What the heck world?? I remembered my mom suggesting I do my own hair and make up and I said, no way! I tried contacting my childhood friend who was gay asking him (or her) where he (or she) is hoping that she (okay, I’m going to use ‘she’) can do my hair and make up. Sad to say, she was on her way to some sideline out of town. I was really frustrated and I really really was almost crying. My mind kept thinking, “How can this happen?! We’re not well prepared! It’s already 12:30 in the afternoon, and the ceremony is supposed to start by 1:30! I’m still at home looking like I just climbed out of bed! I can’t do this!” And I wanted to postpone the wedding…. And then I woke up.

Second night, it’s wedding time! Here’s the weird part, my groom and I were the first to come in to the church, and standing at the altar, we watched our entourage march in! The church was small, like the chapel at Caleruega. Although the interior looked different, like stones were used for the walls, no paints whatsoever. When the entourage started the bridal march, the were walking extremely fast! The entourage wore light blue dresses that looked like nighties, no beads, no lace, just plain straight, light blue dress. I was appalled by how fast they were walking like they were in a hurry or something. I was mumbling to my groom, “Why are the walking so fast?!!” When one bridesmaid walked and passed my side, I immediately called her and asked, “Why were you walking so fast?! That wouldn’t look good on video!” She said that they were in a hurry because there were so many of them that they might be able to come in to the church by the time the bridal march song was finished. So that’s why they had to walk so fast! Indeed there were so many people in the church that it looked so crowded. And then during the ceremony, one concern was the preparation at the reception venue. We didn’t have any coordinators in my dream wedding scene, and no one was assigned to check on the preparations. So in all weirdness, 3 of our principal sponsors who were my groom’s aunts, presented themselves to check on the arrangements and let the ceremony proceed even without them. So we agreed. And the scene outside looked like we were in a province. Trees were everywhere, but there is also a beach somewhere nearby… Then I woke up.

My mind’s messed up. I guess this is all because of the stress of the preparation. Being overseas is extremely difficult especially when preparing your dream wedding. We seriously need coordinators, we need help. And we should settle with one soon so we can start the preparations properly.

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