I have a backlog of emails in the form of daily digests from Weddings At Work. I haven’t been as active in using the PC nor the internet these past couple of months ever since Laviel and I arrived. Probably because I don’t really find it a necessity to go online unlike when Laviel and I were miles apart. Anyway, as I was going through each email, a fellow w@wie shared her favorite part of Bo Sanchez’s LittleBook on How to Have A Great Marriage. Below is the excerpt from the LittleBook:
Women, Appreciate Him
Women, do you know how discouraging it is for your husband when he realizes that he cannot fulfill you? But when he sees you smile and become happy because of the little things he does for you, he inwardly feels powerful and accomplished. He tells himself, “I did that. I made her happy.” What does a man need? Appreciation. Appreciate him for the little things he does. Tell him how happy he has made you. And remember that when you appreciate him, you’re encouraging him to continue to move in that same direction. Inwardly, a man wants to be admired by his woman. Women are naturally appreciative of the small things. When they’re not appreciative, it’s because of two reasons: She doesn’t know it is important to her partner — or she’s stuck in resentment. Here’s how to score points with your man — some higher than others…
- He makes a mistake and you don’t say, “I told you so.”
- He gets lost while driving and you don’t make a big deal out of it.
- He gets lost and you see the good in the situation.
- He forgets to pick up something and you say, “It’s OK. Next time.”
- He forgets it again (!) and you say, “It’s OK. Next time.”
- When he goes into his cave, you don’t make him feel guilty.
- When he comes out of his cave, you welcome him and don’t punish him.
- When he apologizes for his mistake and you receive it with love.
- You’re happy to see him when he gets home.
- You don’t give unsolicited advice about his responsibilities.
- You ask for his support rather than dwell on his failures.
Friends, the key to a great relationship is simple: Love the way your beloved wants to be loved.
Now let’s learn how to speak the way our beloved speaks.
When I read this excerpt, I felt ashamed of my self. I was guilty. I know and I’ve realized that consciously or unconsciously, I make my husband feel inferior. I don’t like doing it but there comes a time when I succumb to disappointment and resentment and I unintentionally react with such negative effect on him. We’ve had some arguments and fights when he had mentioned that he felt this way and it hurts me. It hurts me because I never wanted to hurt him in any way and yet I do. Marriage is not a joke; not in any way should marriage be taken lightly. As I’ve always heard from the elderly, even in my younger years: marriage is not like a spoonful of hot rice that once put in the mouth, you can spit it out at once. Marriage is a vocation; it is a promise made and never should be broken. When you get married, you have a responsibility to your other half and you can no longer think only for yourself.
I haven’t read the entire article yet but it’s a short one so I’d like to start it as soon as possible. It was generous of my fellow w@wie to share the link to the article from her Dropbox account so in turn, I’d like to share it as well for those soon-to-weds, married couple, or just plain interested.