This was supposed to be my entry for the Daily Prompt last Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, I have been out of the blogging mood for a couple of months now for a reason I will later on share with all of you. Well anyway, here’s the letter I drafted for Mom which I have no clue if she would ever be able to read. (I don’t have the confidence to share my blog with her.)
How are you feeling today? I know it’s kind of weird that I’m writing you a letter, but I just wanted to take this opportunity to speak to you even if I’m the only one who’s really talking here. Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I forgot about it until someone greeted me in Facebook. And because I forgot that it was Mother’s Day, I didn’t even get to greet you despite driving together to the office. In fact, I didn’t say a word until the afternoon when we were about to go home. It wasn’t even a greeting; it was just like teasing you that it was Mother’s Day. I’m not proud of that, in fact, I hated that I forgot about it. I always want to plan something or exert even the smallest effort for you and Dad. I was just probably too preoccupied with something else that it slipped off my mind.
I love you, Mom. I always do. But sometimes, I also hate you. I hate when you constantly scold me just because you think I’m doing things wrong (like my driving; I don’t drive fast, okay?). I hate it when you make me feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, like I should do things the way you’d do it. I hate how you repeatedly ask the same question again and again when I just gave you the answer (I explained it clearly, is it that hard to understand?). At times, I hate how annoying you are. I hate how you never took time to teach me nor tutor me when I was younger. I hate how you didn’t want to help me with my assignments. I hated you for changing the channel when I was watching cartoons. I hate you for forcing me to eat Kare-Kare when I was young.
Despite how much I hate about you, I love you with all my heart. I love how you take care of me and Dad. I love how you cook for us on weekends. I love how stubborn you are, insisting how some of your methods are the right way to do things. I love how consistently you remind me to drink my vitamins, to eat my food, to keep my things, etc. I love how funny you can be when you start to be annoying. I love you and your Kare-Kare. You may not know it, but I love how you taught me to be independent. I love you for making sure I’m always safe, for being a crybaby during my first out of the country trip (remember my UPCAT exam?), for being a crybaby before my laparoscopic appendectomy, and for being a crybaby during my wedding day.
I’m sorry, Mom, for being a stubborn child. I’m sorry for hurting you intentionally and unintentionally. I’m sorry for going against your wishes sometimes. I’m sorry for making you feel terrible and for saying things that hurt you. I may not be the perfect daughter but I promise to always try. I may seem to be always against you, but know in your heart that I’m always ready to fight for you. I will take all the pain just to protect you. I may hate you at times, but I will never wish nor ask for any other to be my mother. I may seek other people’s advice, stories, comments, reactions about things in my life, but in the end, it will always be you that I’d come running back to. You are my safe haven.
Thank you, Mom. Thank you for giving me the life I have now. Thank you for getting me educated. Thank you for the patience. Thank you for the unconditional love. Thank you for the support, the guidance, the happiness, and all the sacrifices you had to make just to provide for me. I love you with all my heart and life. I owe you everything I have and everything I am.
Sweet hugs and kisses..Me.