What is sleep?
I used to have control over my sleeping pattern. Back in college, I have the liberty to sleep or not to sleep. I could choose to stay up until wee hours and I could sleep through the afternoon. I can try to sleep early and wake up early. I can sleep whenever I feel like it. I can wake up when I think it’s time to. I remember a good friend of mine back in college used to say that we can’t stay in a dorm together. Otherwise, we’d always be late for classes because we sleep so soundly.
But since November 2013, sleep had been dodging me. Not sleeping well has been my routine ever since I became a mom. With a newborn, I had to wake up every 2 to 3 hours to feed him. Although Lucio have been sleeping longer since he turned 3 months, my sleep still gets disrupted every 3 hours or so to breast feed. Breast feeding is actually quite easy since it doesn’t require me to get up from bed since I can breast feed in side lying position. This is also quite convenient for Lucio so his sleep doesn’t get disrupted. Although there are days when I do get up from bed if I feel that Lucio needs a change of diaper. That and if I have to pee.
Last night was different though. We took Lucio to the clinic late yesterday afternoon for his scheduled 4th month vaccination. He had 2 oral administration: one for polio virus and the other for rota virus (to prevent diarrhea). Then he was given 2 shots, one on each thigh: one for pneumonia and the other which I forgot. Poor thing was already in tears during the oral meds. Probably because he was cranky from not being able to sleep that afternoon and I guess the meds didn’t taste good. But my heart was crushed when he cried his lungs out when the pediatrician injected the other 2 meds. This is the third time I saw him cry from hospital procedure. First was during the blood extraction for bilirubin screening. Second time during his 2nd month vaccination and yesterday was the third. All instances involved needles.
He was fine after Laviel carried him and he was still smiling and lively when we got home. But before 10:00PM, he started acting fussy. His left thigh, as expected by the doctor, started to swell so I decided to apply cold compress. By 10:10PM, I can tell he was already in pain as his thigh became red and swollen. We finally decided to give him paracetamol to help with the pain and hoping to prevent fever. But unfortunately by 12 midnight, he temperature had increased. He was also sensitive and kept on waking up whenever his leg was moved. I thought I wouldn’t be able to catch a few hours of sleep but I finally dozed off before 1:00AM. I woke up alarmed around 4:00AM and then I remembered Lucio. He was sleeping soundly beside me and I immediately checked his temperature. He was still feeling a little hot so I woke him up and gave him paracetamol again then I breast fed him again. I’m not used of seeing him without any energy and sickly because he is naturally a happy baby. I hate fever. I was only able to doze off again by 5:30AM and got ready for work by 6:15AM. Yes, we were late today. I was uncertain if I should come to work or not. But I chose to go. Not because I wanted to, but because I forgot to turn my air purifier off yesterday! Talk about forgetfulness. On the way to work, I thought of getting some shuteye since Laviel was the driver. But Laviel was also too sleepy so I had to stay awake to make sure we don’t get into any type of accident. So long, sleep opportunity.
So yeah, I miss sleep. I miss it a lot. But it would take a few more months before I can have the freedom to do what I want with sleep. For now, I still have a few minutes before it’s time to go head home. I am looking forward for a better baby and rest time for me, Laviel and Lucio.